Why Your Team Sucks 2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.

Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Tampa Bay Bucs. Your 2. 01. 6 record: 9- 7. Watch Beautiful Boy Online. In those seven losses, the Bucs gave up nearly five touchdowns a game. Derek Carr hung 5. Raiders committed 2.

The Rams hung 3. 7 on them somehow. This is a rough estimate, but 9. Tavon Austin’s total receiving yards last year came against the Bucs. But please keep telling me that this is an up- and- coming defense. This team still starts Chris Conte. During real games, no less! Your coach: Dirk Koetter.

Well, I am sure there are plenty of people that think my playcalling stinks… But I’ve been doing it for 3. I don’t think I’m going to forget how.” Well actually, Dirk, in your NFL career your teams have had a winning percentage below . So it’s not that you’ve forgotten how to call plays, but rather the fact that you never learned how to call them to begin with. By the way, the Bucs were this season’s designated Hard Knocks victim. Let’s see what kind of EXCLUSIVE ACCESS we’ve been given into Koetter and his coaching methods.

Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the. President Donald J. Trump has decided to advance his bogus ban on trans individuals openly serving in the US military beyond tweeting vague dictates on the matter. Yahoo’s Charles Robinson has gotten his hands on a portion of the NFL’s 160-page report on the Ezekiel Elliott domestic-violence case detailing an exchange. Watch breaking news videos, viral videos and original video clips on CNN.com. It’s cake versus ice cream for Splatoon 2's first Splatfest and we’re streaming all the fun live on our Twitch channel. Come and join the mayhem!

Christ. Honestly, it’s like they just draw slogans out of a hat every year. Your quarterback: Congratulations, Jameis Winston! Your sexual battery case was finally dismissed after reaching an undisclosed settlement with your accuser! Finally, you can put this whole ordeal behind you.

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What a hardship it must have been. When Does Football Season End here. For YOU. Now Jameis is free to be a “leader” who “absorbs the playbook like a sponge” and “routinely commits turnovers that belong in silent comedies”: Every time I gotta read some horseshit about Jameis’s uncommon maturity and growth as a passer, it’s like people completely forget that, at least once a game, he will take the snap and proceed to re- enact every Nordberg scene from The Naked Gun. By the way, Jameis has been the showcase star of this season’s Hard Knocks. Here he is killing a cockroach while it’s mating: Technically, that’s ALSO sexual assault. And here he is acting like Taylor Swift in the front row of an award show: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Jameis Winston may not be the most genuine (or mature) fellow in the world. Fresh off beating the rap, he had the balls to lecture a group of schoolgirls about being silent, polite, and gentle.

Fuck his phony ass with a pirate flag. Thankfully, the Bucs imported a MENTOR to help him become 5. That’s right. It’s Harvard Man, in the flesh! I could be dead in the ground 5. I swear that Ryan Fitzpatrick could still be holding down an NFL roster spot for no reason whatsoever. This team now has not one, but TWO Harvard grads on the roster.

I swooooon at the potential for elevated sideline discourse. Oh, nothing coach. Just sipping some Gatorade and discussing the impact on South China Sea trade routes should a preemptive strike in North Korea take place [FARTS]” What’s new that sucks: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CUT THE KICKER.

Yes, after trading up to draft Roberto Aguayo in the second round, the Bucs had to cut him and replace him with Nick Folk…Priceless. That’s what you get for FSU- ifying half the roster.

No one should ever let this team forget about the Aguayo draft bust. This was already one of the worst picks in draft history before they released the poor bastard. They should put a monument to the trade next to the stadium bathroom.

GM Jason Licht should have to walk around with a sandwich board that says I TOOK A KICKER IN THE SECOND ROUND LIKE A MORON all day long.“I’m owning up to it by releasing him. It was a bold move and it didn’t work out.

I don’t know what else to say.” “Bold” isn’t the word I’d use there, amigo. Elsewhere on the roster, De.

Sean Jackson is here! On paper, the arrival of Jackson and absolute stud TE OJ Howard (drafted to replace the drunk driver they originally had at that slot) make the Bucs one of the best young passing teams in football. But, as someone who has watched De. Sean Jackson over the years, I can assure you that every accidental fumble Winston makes is one that Jackson can make deliberately.

Doug Martin was suspended for the first four games for Adderall, and will be suspended four more after he beats my ass for screaming MUSCLE HAMSTER at him from a nearby balcony. Mike Evans drops passes as swiftly as he drops visible Anthem protests. Jon Gruden is getting inducted into the team’s ring of honor this season, even though Bill Callahan’s playsheet should have been inducted way before him. One of the linemen dined and dashed on a five- figure club tab. What has always sucked: Miko Grimes claimed that she deliberately got her husband cut in Miami so he could come to Tampa.

You played yourself, lady. Only an idiot would scheme to leave the glistening shores of South Beach to go to live in the middle of a Dog the Bounty Hunter fancon. She must have thought she could avoid the tax man there. I may be biased here because a jury of Tampa tattoo artists bankrupted this site’s former company, but for real, Fuck Tampa.

Tampa is the Arizona of Florida. Tampa is a seething mass of divorcees and wannabe pirates deliberately living in the cheesiest possible area. The Bucs stadium isn’t even the most popular building on its block (that honor goes to Mons Venus). There’s a reason that Jon Gruden has a completely unironic love of Hooters. That’s 1. 00 percent Tampa right there.

I’m surprised they don’t blare Hoobastank from air raid signals all day long. I took my family to Tampa for Spring Break once. Seagulls tried to eat our dinner every night and some lady brought an entire hi- fi system to the pool so she could play Bon Jovi. Tampa is the worst. It’s the only city in America aiming to REDUCE mass transit.

Nazis are everywhere. Local sports teams had to give money just to get a Confederate statue taken down and it still hasn’t been taken down. A local middle school tried to sell kids a $1. The Scientologists are the most normal people there. Fuck Tampa eternally. VIVA GAWKER, MOTHERFUCKER.

What might not suck: They’re good enough on offense to score 4. Did you know? HEAR IT FROM BUCS FANS! Matthew: Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Anton: There is nothing worse than waiting for decades for your team to get a potentially elite QB and then have him be an alleged rapist. Who tells groups of young girls they need to shut up and let the men lead. Alex: Fuck Josh Freeman.

Joseph: In two season Jameis will be the Bucs all=time leader in passing yards, surpassing Vinny fucking Testaverde. Jeb Lund: The problem with Why Your Team Sucks is that, every year, I strive to think of something uniquely bad about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, some suck- property that grounds the team athletically and geographically in a characteristic awfulness that other people can point to and say, “I get why thisteam blows.”But I’m starting to think that’s misguided, like writing a negative review of a flat, sad Big Mac. It’s a mediocrity expected, universal and unenlightening, as dissatisfying as you want it to be, assuming you need to buy it at all. Apart from the pirate ship, Raymond James Stadium is unlovely in the way most stadiums are unlovely. It’s not exiled to some featureless exurban hinterland, but it’s not in a downtown core accessible to walking or convenient public transportation. Before games, the neighborhood food carts and stalls are all pleasantly above average; afterward, the hassle of finding a way to get to something else to do is what you’d expect. Are the owners soulless profiteers using the NFL revenue stream to underwrite more exciting pursuits while relying on die- hard, underserved suckers?

Yes. Does this distinguish them from most NFL owners? No. A Bucs fan gets grifted like everybody else.

Donald Trump Will Order Military to Begin Discriminating Against Trans Troops Within Six Months. President Donald J.

Trump has decided to advance his bogus ban on trans individuals openly serving in the US military beyond tweeting vague dictates on the matter. Per the Wall Street Journal, Trump is expected to “issue guidance” to the Pentagon and Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis which will be somewhat clearer than his original three- part tweetstorm in July, which proclaimed trans people will no longer be allowed “to serve in any capacity” in the armed forces.

There was no shortage of confusion over the tweets, which contained no actual information on how the president intended the Pentagon to carry the policy out, but did contain plenty of nonsensical rambling about “decisive and overwhelming victory.”Per the WSJ account, Trump is giving Mattis the ability to consider whether trans soldiers will be able to deploy when deciding who to discharge, as well as directs him to stop admitting any new trans soldiers and cut off related medical treatments for those currently serving. Mattis is being given a six- month window to implement the policy. Trump’s psuedomedical Twitter thesis for the decision was that trans soldiers “burdened” the military with “tremendous medical costs and disruption,” all of which is a lie of mind- boggling proportions. No evidence backs this idea. It’s naked pandering to bigots, and especially that particular brand of bigot eager to stigmatize trans people as mentally ill. The total cost of providing adequate medical care to the US’ estimated 1,3. WSJ reported, citing a 2.

Rand Corp study. Even if you take the $8. One Palm Center and Naval Postgraduate School study found the cost of discharging and replacing trans service members could run as high as $9. Rand’s high- end estimate. As for readiness, on Tuesday some 5. Trump saying the ban would disrupt the readiness of the armed forces. Research has shown there is no evidence trans troops disrupted anything in at least 1. The Rand study estimated just 2.

By the way, the military at large has tens of thousands of soldiers unavailable for deployment at any given time for medical, legal or administrative reasons. As Gizmodo noted previously, the military is usually willing to shell out countless billions of dollars in sketchy contracts, unnecessary new equipment and sheer administrative waste. It wastes money left and right, and Trump wants to throw billions of dollars more on the pile anyhow. So the idea the US’ massive military- industrial complex will be ground to a halt by the cost of paying for a few thousand soldiers’ heath care is beyond trite. It’s insulting. Trump wants to fuck with people fighting in the US military because he’s a cranky bigot, plain and simple.[Wall Street Journal].